


Otterly Frightful

by corvusdraconis, Dragon_and_the_Rose, Hollowg1rl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, Ottermione
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvusdraconis/pseuds/corvusdraconis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_and_the_Rose/pseuds/Dragon_and_the_Rose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollowg1rl/pseuds/Hollowg1rl
Summary: SSHG, AU: One of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes’ new projects gets away from the twins in the form of  “bloody hell” released from its prison, and it was not happy to be part of their experiment. (COMPLETE)
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 45
Kudos: 271





	Otterly Frightful

**Summary:** One of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes' new projects gets away from the twins in the form of "bloody hell" released from its prison, and it was _**not**_ happy to be part of their experiment.

 **Beta Love:** Dragon and the Rose, Dutchgirl01, Flyby Commander Shepard, and DeepShadows2 (and a drive by Hollowg1rl (they do exist!))

 **A/N:** A Halloween short for the season, since there will be no trick or treating here. One of my neighbours was contemplating trick or yeet (tossing plastic bags with candy in it at kids) but I think the city has put the kibosh on any social activity this season.

* * *

**Otterly Frightful**

A Short Story by Corvus Draconis

_Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid._

**Mark Twain**

* * *

The explosion, they'd recall for many years after, had been the start of their damnation— though the Weasley twins soon began to suspect that perhaps the start had truly been when they'd decided to open a business together.

All times before, the twins had prided themselves on creating harmless fun even if it gave people the runs, made them hurl violently or just gave people some good laughs.

But something had changed within their scope of pranks as insidiously as the start of the sniffles before a heavy cold set in.

In pursuit of the perfect autumn season prank, they had dipped their feet into rather shady territory.

They had gotten their hands upon the _perfect_ Halloween beastie to model their prank against, only in their blindness to see the perfect seasonal prank through to completion, they neglected to observe a few things others might have considered to be an essential ethical practice.

Had they paid more rapt attention to their studies instead of devising innumerable new pranks, they might have remembered the lesson Kettleburn had tried so hard to drill into their brains so many times before: nature finds a way.

Instead, they themselves became the victims of their very own success, perhaps partly due to a bit of pure arrogance in their belief that they were far too clever to _ever_ be caught off-guard. Had they suffered more humility, mayhaps they would have remembered that there were two things in the world, in particular, that did not much appreciate being disrespected: nature and magic.

So, as the explosion due to their well-meaning idiot of a baby bro tinkering with their other potion work shattered the cage surrounding their highly prized, perfect Halloween creature, the twins ended up flat on their backs staring up in horror at the circling cloud of bat-vapours and smoke. They could only twitch spastically as the far wall was utterly obliterated and the noxious fumes escaped through an open window along with their prized experiment.

And then they heard the screams coming from the adjoining room—

Ron hung upside down from the ceiling by thick tethers of ectoplasm, his body convulsing wildly as it seemed to elongate and sprout ginger and white fur. His face elongated into a pointy snout with whiskers as his ears grew rounded and his wide eyes black and beady. And, as if Ron turning into a giant ginger-furred weasel-creature wasn't horrifying enough, he started to look a bit Nifflerish around the edges, and as he fell from his entanglement—

He started stuffing any, all, and everything that might have been shiny or edible into his mutant pouch—

Which, in turn, caused still _more_ explosions inside the magical pouch—

And he mutated just a little bit more each time.

As hundreds of miniature candied stoats poured out from the pouch and proceeded to run amok in the destroyed lab—

Getting into more trouble.

Causing even more explosions.

Molly's shrill scream was heard from beyond the wall. "Oh dear Merlin, _**HARRY!"**_ she cried.

" _ **Monsters!"**_ multiple voices screamed and cried as dozens of panicked footsteps indicated that all of their customers had fled the store in a blind panic.

"Get Hermione! She'll know how to deal with this!" Harry's hoarse voice hiccoughed.

The twins immediately dashed into the other room only to trip over a pile of shredded, smouldering robes and go sprawling right into Harry Potter.

A Harry Potter with a fine set of antlers sprouting both on top of his head and in a row down his back like the spinal plates on Godzilla.

Molly, on the other hand, had taken on the spirit-like form of a banshee, and she looked ready to outright scream everyone around into the Afterlife.

The twins quickly cast a muffling charm over their mum's mouth, binding it closed as they cried, "No, Mum, you'll _**kill**_ us all if you say anything!"

Molly looked down at herself and then silently screeched even harder at them, but thankfully the charm over her voice remained.

Ron was frantically trying to stuff every item into his mutant pouch, creating more shenanigans at least until Harry's antler tips glowed and zapped Ron into a stunned cube of lime jelly.

The jelly quivered as he tried to escape or at least eat himself out, but the magical confection replenished itself.

Harry turned to the twins, the tips of his antlers beginning to take on an ominous red glow.

"What the unholy hell and damnation did you _**do**_ , Fred, George?"

The twins both managed to look resigned and utterly remorseful at once. "We were holding a bat-were in a containment cage to model a perfect Halloween trick. It was safe, we swear!"

"This does not even remotely look safe, you two," Harry snapped, glowering as his Auror senses tingled. "And is that why you wouldn't let Hermione back in the lab? Because you knew she would raise holy hell over you holding a creature back there? What the hell _**is**_ a bat-were?"

The twins gulped simultaneously.

"It's uh— like a werebat only in reverse. It's normally a bat that can supposedly turn into a human."

"Supposedly," Harry said.

"Well, it looks just like a normal bat, so there really wasn't a way to prove it wasn't actually a malevolent spirit bat-creature. But it was such a gorgeously wicked-looking bat, so we just _had_ to have it."

"You housed a potentially malevolent spirit bat creature that can appear like a human in a cage and then tried to blow it up?" Harry asked, his green eyes narrowing.

"Let's be fair here—" the twins protested. "We had no proof it actually was, and we didn't blow up the lab, that was our baby brother being a wanker."

Molly looked ready to blow up and rain banshee particles all over everyone.

Harry's nose wrinkled, and it audibly crinkled like someone had crumpled a wad of paper. The sound made the twins look triumphant just before they realised that response was utterly inappropriate.

"Where is Hermione?" Harry demanded.

The twins stared at the pile of robes they had tripped on— shredded, torn, and scorched. "Erm—"

Harry's antlers glowed again, and this time Harry looked like he was going to hold something back, but when his mouth opened, a glittering beam of energy zapped the twins and sent them sprawling arse over teakettle into the back wall.

Harry slapped his hands over his mouth in horror as the twins were now buried in dozens of pink bottles of their patented Wonder Witch love potion.

* * *

Headmaster Snape woke in a warmth he had never before experienced in all his years at Hogwarts— a dozy sort of warmth that screamed for a lie-in of epic proportions. For once his dreams had been quite pleasant rather than haunting, and he felt like returning to sleep's leviathan-like embrace.

As he shifted his weight to the side, he was greeted with a sleepy squeak to the face, and he froze in place. His hand slowly moved to touch warm, thick fur.

He looked to see the warmest brown eyes in the otter world staring straight at him. A molten warmth filled him the moment he made full eye contact, and he felt he was falling into a pool of eternal warmth, never to be cold again. His hand trembled as he drew the beast toward him and closed his eyes, his nostrils taking in the scent of autumn and the ocean mixed into one.

"Hello," he whispered, stunned by the affection he saw in those eyes as well as the radiating warmth.

The otter squeaked, and there was a wriggling movement as two very batlike wings unfolded to hug his face as her (it was a feeling) webbed paws touched his cheeks. A tender lick went across the tip of his nose.

Snape's face softened at the expression just before it darkened in annoyance. "Hagrid."

* * *

"Nuh-uh, sir!" Hagrid swore, spreading his huge hands out and flailing them around. "I swear, I ne'er saw 'er before in me life! She's not one of mine! I haven't bred anything since you gave me that dressing down the last time!"

Severus scowled harder, and the winged otter on his shoulder chittered noisily at Hagrid like a marketplace hawker. He felt strangely endeared to the chatty otter and her wrath, but he placed a hand on the beast's head to soothe her. She chirred and squeaked, rubbing up against his hand affectionately.

Snape narrowed his eyes as something caught his attention from the otter's beady glare in Hagrid's direction.

Movement.

Something was moving in Hagrid's _hair_.

Expecting Medusa-like carnage first, Snape pulled his wand and pointed it directly at Hagrid's head.

"Nuh, sir! _**NO!**_ It's just a _**baby!**_ " Hagrid wailed, quickly fumbling around in his hair and pulling something to his chest to protect it. "Don't _**hurt**_ it!"

Something sprang out of Hagrid's hands, hissing, and Snape stumbled back as he uttered a shielding charm and a stunner, but before he could finish the later, the winged otter launched at the attacking interloper with a furious chain of squeaks.

A blur of brown met green and grey as the otter ferociously mauled the creature that had emerged from Hagrid's hands.

Hagrid wailed in anguish as his latest pet beastie met ottery wrath, and the pair tussled and rolled away towards the Whomping Willow.

Severus stood up and glowered at Hagrid in a manner that would curdle milk, his jaw tightening into a firm line. "Rubeus Hagrid, you are suspended from duty as of right now and restricted to quarters until this mess is properly sorted. And you _will_ be in the quarters I arrange for you now as I set a team from the DRCMC on your hut and storage areas and tear them apart brick by brick to make sure nothing further remains to surprise me or anyone else!"

Hagrid paled as Snape's Patronus formed from his wand— a humanoid otter with bat wings and a strangely familiar mane of hair— before it zoomed off toward the Ministry.

"No, sir, please! Not me friends!"

"Make. Legal. Friends, Hagrid, or by the gods I swear that I will personally see to it that you cannot buy _any_ thing alive or dead or whatever inbetween for the rest of your pitiful _**life**_ _!_ If that thing hurts even one student or person in Hogsmeade or one of the centaur in the forest, I will have you facing charges in front of the Wizengamot for endangering anything and everything with a _**pulse**_ on the Hogwarts grounds!"

Hagrid stared down at the ground as multiple cracks of Apparition sounded off near the Hogwarts gates. Snape waved his wand and they opened for the squad of officials summoned by his Patronus.

"Possibly dangerous magical animals, Headmaster?" the tallest one said.

Snape set his jaw and nodded. "Yes, and one possible mutant that bonded to me before saving me from the others. They fought and went off that way, towards the Whomping Willow."

The officials collectively winced at the mere mention of the infamously cranky tree, obviously knowing its history all _too_ well.

A weak-sounding squeak came from the brush, and Severus rushed toward the sound.

The otter whimpered at him as he gently picked her up, her body covered in claw wounds and bites, a mix of blood and venom dripping from all of the above. Severus cradled her tenderly with one arm curled against his body. The body of her adversary lay still in the dirt, having met its match.

"It was only a _**baby!**_ " Hagrid protested, sobbing pitifully.

One of the officials, whose badge flashed the name "Seth Rigby" pointed his wand at the fallen creature. "That's a vipertooth tree lizard, that is. But notice the tiny comb and wattles on him? It looks like it could've been the result of crossing a lizard with a cockatrice. Bloody dangerous, if that proves to be the case."

Snape's head jerked around so he could glower fiercely at Hagrid. "You _said_ you hadn't bred anything since our last talk."

"I did'na!" Hagrid protested. "I got 'im as an egg at the Hog's Head for winning at cards. Chap didn't have any money, but he gave me the egg in good faith!"

"Good faith for _what?_ "

"Well, I, er—" Hagrid stammered. "We weren't playin' for money, yeah? But he was such an understanding bloke when I told him about how I wasn't allowed to breed things anna'more. He said it twas a shame and—"

"Just happened to give you an _illegal_ egg from a dangerous venomous lizard crossbreed?"

Hagrid stared fixedly at his shoes.

"I'm taking her to the infirmary. You are welcome to ask any further questions of me there. Hagrid's abode is over there. You may raze it to the ground at your leisure," Snape said, not even giving them time to protest before he disappeared in a blur of black wool.

Seth Rigby fidgeted. "He's a bit intimidating." He paused. "Still."

The other officials shook their heads together as they caught Hagrid trying to sneak off to the hut before they could. "We'd far rather you stayed out of the way, Mr Hagrid," the taller official said.

Hagrid seemed to wilt in place.

* * *

"There isn't a thing wrong with her," Poppy said as she ran her wand over the winged otter. The otter was snoozing against Snape contentedly.

"She was covered in bites and scratches, Poppy," Severus said. "The blood is still on my robes!"

"I understand that, Severus, but—" Poppy gestured to the creature. "If there were wounds, they seem to have already healed." She cast a spell on Snape's robes to clean off the blood and whatever else— a spell that probably made the house elves wonder if she had been spying on their magic. Then again, Severus figured, maybe the elves had been watching healers from the past and stole it from them.

"Does she have a name?"

"What? Oh, I—" Severus frowned. "I hadn't even thought of it."

Poppy frowned. "She should have a name if she's your familiar, Severus. At least give her that much for putting up with your rancor."

Snape flushed. Poppy was one of the few people on Earth that genuinely cared for him, and he couldn't just shove it under a rug that she'd done more than enough to earn his respect. He tried to think of something dignified, but his brain kept coming up with stupid descriptors like "Clingy" and even terribly unoriginal names like "Otter."

Maybe he could think of it like Ollivander with with wand woods—

She was protective, apparently was a great healer, tolerated him, and, well, was clingy.

"Ivy?" he said, as if questioning his own sanity.

The furry beast lifted her head and squeaked at him.

"Well, at least she didn't bite my face off," he commented, evaluating.

A beat.

 _Wait, did she say familia_ r?

Poppy seemed to read his mind even without Legilimency. "Yes, a familiar. I've had them around long enough that it's pretty obvious when one is real versus the hundreds of pets that come through here posing as familiars."

She waved her hand dismissively. "They won't be able to take her away from you— not that they'd succeed. She seems quite attached."

Severus felt a stab of worry at the thought, having not even bothered to ponder what would have happened if the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures had tried to take her away.

Ivy seemed to sense his distress and snuggled into his neck, her head pressed against his scars.

Oddly, it didn't feel as touchy as it always had before—she, as always, felt natural wherever she was, and he didn't mind that she was against his war wound.

"Severus!" Poppy gasped, pointing her wand as him.

Severus blinked. "What?! Stop pointing your wand at me, woman!"

"Your scars, Severus!" Poppy said with amazement. "They're _**gone!"**_

He almost dropped the otter in shock.

* * *

Hours later, Ivy sported a beautiful new magical wing "cuff" that proudly proclaimed her registered familiar status to all, and she was celebrating by eating a giant pile of clams that were piled up on his desk while he sorted through various paperwork releasing Hagrid from duty to face his Wizengamot trial on multiple accounts of harbouring secret illegally bred animals.

Severus wasn't sure where he had hidden them when he checked (and he _had_ checked back when he'd first taken up the issue with Hagrid's beasts). Either way, Hagrid was looking at a formal reprimand from the Board and the possible removal of some of his privileges at Hogwarts at the very least, probation with a lengthy period of community service, or some other punishment. Nothing was Azkaban-worthy since no one had technically been harmed or died, but Minerva was convinced that was just merely sheer dumb luck if anything.

Sounded oddly familiar, that particular phrase—

Ivy and Minerva got along like cats in nip, and Severus decided there had to be a price paid for having such warmth in his life. Minerva loving on his familiar would just have to be tolerated.

Regretful but tolerated.

As it turned out, Ivy did have some ill effects of her bite to go along with the positive effects of her presence. Her presence, it seemed, healed things— specifically things she touched. His scar was the first notable victim to the effect, and his arthritis from so many other battles was the second to go. Migraines, abused joints— he was feeling twenty-some years younger, and he hadn't had such restful sleep in, well, ever.

Poppy begged him to let her borrow Ivy to heal some of her more troublesome, complicated cases, and so far the ottery beast had even managed to heal Clarence Bishop— the Boy-Who-Broke-Himself-Constantly.

He was even more accident prone than Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnigan rolled together into a sweet roll of pain.

The ill-effects, however, were quite—

Odd.

 _Definitely_ odd.

One nip from the feisty otterbeast, and a student would break out in some sort of monster costume with matching features. As it approached Halloween, those features became more and more grisly and alarmingly detailed. What started out as classic monster movie makeup was becoming full-blown werewolf characteristics (thankfully sans the mindless propensity for violence and contagious attributes, and he could thank Mr Collins for having been stunned and tested by the Aurors and Unspeakables to determine that yes, the boy was only transfigured into a semblance of an actual werewolf, not a _real_ one.

Thank Merlin for that.

The children, of course, were quite gleeful about the effect, and they followed Ivy around begging her to bite them so they could be "wicked too."

Feeling that provoking otter bites was hardly what students came to school for, Severus started taking points from Ivy's provokers and giving points to those who remained successfully human by day's end.

The students, however, seemed torn as to if being otter-bit was worth the point docks. Severus was adamant that being bit by an otter-beast that turned you into a monster (hopefully temporarily) was _not_ a top priority of any student's well-rounded education.

Students, as always, chose to agree to disagree with him on that.

It wasn't until antler-Potter and Weasel-y came to Hogwarts hoping to find "their Hermione" that Severus saw the darker side to his furry little water weasel. Upon seeing the ginger weasel in the cage, Ivy flew into a rage, biting and tearing at the cage like she wanted Weasley dead, and with every nip of her sharp teeth, the ginger menace mutated just that much more until he resembled a blobfish sporting a ginger fro.

Severus picked up the enraged otter and cuddled her, and she immediately became calm. She squeaked and rubbed up against him, laying her head on his shoulder with a soft huff.

Harry Potter was now looking at his caged friend with more than a little bafflement and at least ninety percent horror.

"Are you here for a particular reason, Potter, or was it actually your plan to have my familiar attack your caged polymorphic mate?"

"What the bloody hell is your familiar?!" Harry blurted, all semblance of professionalism shot to hell.

"I don't know," Severus said honestly. "She showed up like an orphan from Hagrid and took over my life."

Harry frowned as Ron made strange gulping noises. Harry transfigured the cage into an aquarium with a handle, filled it with water, and set it down on the nearby stone wall before wearily rubbing the space between his eyes.

"You might want to add some salt to that water," Snape advised.

Harry stared at him.

"That thing you call friend is a _saltwater_ fish."

Harry frantically cast some spells, but he only managed to drop a rather large salt block into the aquarium.

Right on top of Ron-fish.

The salt block dissolved all too rapidly having been conjured, and Ron began to pickle in the saline saturation.

Harry frantically added more water to try and even it out, and Ron promptly went sailing over the aquarium lip and flopped on the ground into the mud.

By the time Harry finally fixed the situation, Snape had disappeared back into Hogwarts, having left him to deal with his poor problem-solving skills on his own.

Harry stood in the mud and sighed. "Ron, why do you _always_ manage to make me look like the sodding idiot trying to save your bloody life?"

Ron-fish merely blurbed unintelligibly.

* * *

"Have you tried true remorse?" Snape asked, steepling his fingers as he glowered over his desk at Harry.

Harry stared at him dumbly.

"The cures most commonly used to cancel out hexes and curses are?" Severus said in his scathing professorial voice.

"True love's kiss?" Harry asked weakly.

"And you're supposedly an Auror— imagine how confident I feel in your ability to protect us from evil, Dark wizards and all."

Harry flushed, angry but also resigned in the fact that Snape was, despite his typical sarcasm, right.

"The children at this school have also suffered from a strange case of Halloween transformations," Snape said with a sigh. "While many standard cures were attempted such as _Finite Incantatem_ and some potions as well as the time cures all, what finally reversed the condition was true remorse. Mr Addler returned to normal when he failed his Charms exam after having spent the entire night trying to haunt the girl's dormitory. It returned him to his normal, if rather witless, state."

"But Ron hasn't done anything that _requires_ true remorse!" Harry protested.

Ivy promptly chucked a clam shell at Potter, hitting him squarely in the middle of the forehead.

" _ **Ow!"**_ Harry rubbed his head. "What was _**that**_ for?"

"I'm sure that Mr Weasley has plenty of things to be remorseful for, none of which he was willing to confess to you or himself."

Ron spun around in his aquarium frantically, trying to escape.

Ivy flew over and landed on the top of it and then lay on the lid, her claws scratching the glass just enough to send Ron into a panicked frenzy.

Harry quickly grabbed for her and earned himself a nip.

And— a deer tail that burst out from his trousers.

Severus sighed, picking up Ivy and snuggling her. "Potter is a moron, but you shouldn't put your mouth on places you have no idea where it's been."

Ivy squeaked and thumped her webbed paws against his face, licking his nose.

Impulsively, Severus placed a tender kiss on her muzzle. "I love you too, miscreant."

In just a short time, he knew it to be true, feeling it in his soul. It figured that the love of his life would be a mutant animal.

A pulse of magic grew between them like a heartbeat, bursting out from between them like a squall scattering a squadron of sailboats, and he found himself in a passionate kiss with a bushy-haired witch with bat ears sticking out of her hair.

Not that it mattered.

The gods seemed to shine down upon them both as they engaged in a heated, soul-binding snog that seemed to heat the room with the glory of magic, the gods, and nature itself.

As they pulled away, Severus let out a wheeze as Hermione gave a soft squeak of pure wonder. His hand touched her cheek, cupping it tenderly.

"You poor deluded witch," he whispered. "You really do."

Ron was frantically smashing himself against the lid, toppling it off, and he flopped out of the aquarium, flopped on the desk in a wet, slimy line, fell off, and continued to flop towards the door.

Hermione's head jerked around and the moment she saw the fish trying to escape, the snarl of "Ron!" escaped her lips. Wings burst from her back and fur covered her once-naked skin. Her face jutted out as it struggled to become less human.

"You sanctimonious _**wanker!"**_ Hermione roared. "You serve me up legal papers saying one kiss equals a Wizarding marriage, try to blow me up, and forcibly bind me to an escaping batwere spirit to protect it from your dumbass brothers?! I will tear you _**APART!"**_

Her hair was alive like Medusa's serpentine tresses, and Harry could have sworn a few of the tendrils writhed and _hissed_. Fangs bared from her elongating mouth as she seemed to drip very literal venom with every syllable. She stalked toward Ron, and with each step, the frantic fish's movements became more and more desperate and indicative of his desire to escape.

Ron-fish dove under the cabinet nearest him as a blast of magic transformed him back into a human— his entire body smashed under a bookcase with only his feet sticking out.

Hermione's rampage ended abruptly as Snape pulled her close in an impromptu embrace, initiating a heated kiss that made the antique globe spin wildly on its axis like a child's top and Harry turn bright Gryffindor red.

Hermione's more mutant characteristics melted away sans her funnelled ears that stayed where they were, and she squeaked her sincere approval as Severus demonstrated that he might be a master of more than just potions with the proper inspiration.

He enfolded her in a cocoon of warm woollen robes as an owl carrying two beautiful wedding rings flew in the window and landed on Harry's head.

The rings floated off the carrying stick and slid onto the Headmaster's and his new wife's fingers, sealing with a burst of fireworks and magic.

" _Congratulations on your magically-blessed marriage,"_ a Ministry official's voice cheered in a syrupy-sweet voice. " _All previous petitions for marriage via magical kiss have been annulled due to a lack of evidence. We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused. A formal inquiry will be filed against the petitioner whose documentation was ultimately proven false. Special one-of-a-kind customised bands have been crafted by Master Artisan Glyph Scrimshaft in honour of your momentous occasion!_

_Yours sincerely, Joyce Matrimonius-Fink, Office of Magical Marriage, Ministry of Magic."_

If Harry Potter had heard any of it, he was too busy staring up at the ceiling after the bookshelf he had tried to move off Ron promptly shed all of its tomes on him like the Whomping Willow flinging off a coating of snow in the wintertime.

"Hhuuughrrr—" Harry wheezed.

Hermione pulled back from an industrious snog, her eyebrows knitting together. "Did you hear something?"

Severus smirked and pulled her back towards him. "No."

* * *

Studious students were rewarded with a congratulatory nip from Ivy just before the Halloween festivities after the exams were over, and the Great Hall was filled with revelry and monsters of many sizes and shapes.

Minerva, however, couldn't stop staring at Hermione.

Maybe it was her ears— bat-tastic and proud.

Maybe it was the fact it was Hermione sitting next to the Headmaster with the glittering wedding ring on her finger.

Maybe it was the fact Severus hadn't cut down a first-year in over five hours, which had to be a record—

Surely it was not because Minerva didn't believe the couple didn't belong together as even the most oblivious firsties seemed to figure that out.

But when Minerva caught Hermione's eyes over the salad course, the pair of them beamed at each other, and all at once a grey tabby cat went zooming down the aisle with a winged otter giving merry chase down out of the Great Hall and away.

Severus smiled, and he enjoyed the look of profound unease that it caused in both the remaining staff and the students.

_Excellent._

With Hagrid currently doing both community service and mandated addiction therapy at Mungo's, the castle was a bit safer now. Potter had left with Weasley to face the music of falsified marriage document filing, and the Weasley Twins had to rebuild their business after their outraged mother screamed the walls down around them—

_Oops?_

Hermione Snape accepted the post of professor for Care of Magical Creatures, and she had already made Hagrid's hut over into a far more acceptable abode in between her classes.

At night, however, she always returned to the Headmaster's quarters, nestling herself snugly against the love of her life and most favourite cuddle buddy.

Severus wasn't quite sure if he liked being referred to as a cuddle buddy, but found that he couldn't even imagine his nights without her. And when he was selfish and stole all the duvet, she would transform and wriggle into his blanket burrito and share it with him.

It seemed, in the coming years, even before the twin Snape children (Ivy and Valerian) blessed the halls of Hogwarts, that Hermione's transformative bites only did so during the chilly months of autumn (much to the student's despair), and they always wore off as autumn waned into winter.

The love between the Headmaster and his wife, however, only grew stronger with each passing season.

Now—

If only he could stop the staff from their asinine betting pool on whether their children would end up with bat ears or the Headmaster's rather imposing nose—

Despite it all, Severus realised he was indeed a happy man, and whatever their children turned out to be, mutant or otherwise, they would love them all the same, for if it weren't for a certain mutant miscreant, he would never have found true love at last.

* * *

_Dne Eht_

* * *

**A/N: Happy Halloween! :D**

Special thanks to the ninja beta posse that joined me this evening to write this short. Love you long time!

Now that you've had your fill of Ottermione mayhem, take a gander over to DeepShadows2's Halloween story [Beholden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27198992/chapters/66436400)

and share in the Halloween story fun!


End file.
